Shadowed Choices
by Almandine-Azaleea
Summary: Inu no Taisho is dead...what is Izayoi to do? The tales of the woman, the lover, and the mother who is Izayoi.
1. Moonlit Tryst

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA!

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**Shadowed Choices**

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The night cast silvery shadows onto the floor, their pale hands reaching up to my futon. Outside the moon floated elegantly upon the starry sky; her gown of silver light trailing behind her, she poured soft light upon the ground. A shadow wavered in passing across the floor. I shook my head. I must be imagining things...yet...I had this odd feeling I was being watched. It had become almost a constant awareness recently...well...as recent as seven months can be considered. My mind chided the foolishness of even considering such silly notions. Flying shadows, indeed! 

The thread of thought broke suddenly.

A breath caught in my throat as someone materialised from the darkness. He looked to be of high status, judging by his finery and decorated robes. His silver-spun hair set out the smouldering golden flames within his eyes.

I had never been more entranced in my entire life. All I could see...feel...was this amazing being before me. He moved closer, kneeling before my futon, and looked up at me. His eyes were mesmerizing: burning, but amazingly tender.

"Who...?"my words startled the silence between us, and made my heart flinch.

He continued to look at me in wonder, and I barely heard him murmur.

"Beautiful...so beautiful."

I blushed, and thanked the gods for the darkness's shade. I was stunned. He wasn't human, I knew that by his demeanour, his incredible beauty, the markings on his face...yet somehow, I wasn't afraid. Somehow...he found me beautiful. Some part of my mind whispered in the distance that it was all a ploy, and I felt brazen realising I didn't care. I didn't care if it was a lie...if he was a lie...if it was all just a wonderful dream...He sighed, and broke my reverie. Gently, he brought up a hand and tangled it in my hair, it was then I noticed he had claws...what should have raised warning signs floated away with the sound of his voice.

"What is your name...maiden?"

"Izayoi..."my voice trembled.

"You do not fear me..."

"No, my lord" I answered more bravely than I felt.

I could almost see him smile in the dim light streaming in through my window.

Continuing to play with my hair, he leaned in closer and I heard him inhale.

"Izayoi..." he sighed "you do not deserve this..."

Was he angry? My heart tightened at the thought.

"I...am a very selfish man, and I would have you...though, I fear it may cause you great unhappiness."

"My lord?"

"Would you follow a demon?" his voice was low and infused with such tenderness, it brought tears to my eyes.

"I care not...stay with me" I flinched at my own forwardness, thinking he would be displeased...instead I heard him chuckle lightly.

"You would follow this Inu-no-Taisho, this willingly?"

I half-gasped. I knew he was no human, but I had not expected this. _The _Inu-no-Taisho! Mutely, I nodded.

"You ought not fear this Inu-no-Taisho." he chided gently "I will not have you harmed."

His candour touched me.

"I was just, surprised. I trust my lord."

"You would trust a man you have only just met?"

"No...I would trust my lord..."

"You are...aware...there shall be consequences..." his concern was tmoving.

I knew what would come to me. I would be happy, and safe, but should anything happen to him I would be left alone, ostracised, frowned upon...still I wanted to choose him...my heart would allow no other path.

"I am aware...but if I have my lord's heart, I shall bear it all."

"You have it...I pledge all I have to you, as my mate."

My heart skipped a beat. Inu-youkais mated for life, and he'd chosen me. Tears spilled before my eyes before I could catch them.

"Why do you weep...beautiful Izayoi?

"It is an honour to be chosen..."

"You know...it's seven moons since this Inu-no-Taisho chose to have you by his side..."

I could only gasp in amazement. Seven moons...so I hadn't been imagining the shadows, the soft sighs I would hear just before the sun rose...the fragrance of wilderness and forest that had somehow made its way into my chamber every day for nigh seven months now...

I was humbled, so I responded the only way my raising had taught me - I bowed.

His hands untangled themselves from my hair, and wrapped themselves around my wrists, pulling me up until I was looking directly into his eyes. The sea of amber drew me in. I knew it then...this would all be short lived...such feelings were not meant to last.

"Be mine" he whispered gently.

His voice resounded through me, and I closed my eyes. This man would be the death of me, still...

"Yes..."

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Author's Notes: To all my wonderful friends, and reviewers without whom I would never find the confidence to continue writing: Thank you! 


	2. Silent Goodbyes

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha!**

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**Silent Goodbyes**

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He raced, blood seeping from his wounds, weakening him further…He had to…had to reach her… 

His heart was blazing with anger and worry; his mind was wracked with apprehension.

He was proud of his eldest, though…in time he would come to understand…Tenseiga would see to that.

He smelled her blood in the distance…a mixture of flowers of the field…it was mingled with exhaustion…fear…

"Hold on…Izayoi…"

* * *

Foolish humans tried to stop him…he ignored their attempts and rushed to her…Takemaru…if he had… 

"Burn it all down!" cold anger echoed in the cruel voice.

He heard the arrows cut through the air and land on the roof, but that was of no consequence to him.

Slicing angrily at the imps who had come to claim his beloved's soul, he held a sigh of relief in as she opened her eyes slowly.

"You must hurry" he said covering her with the fire-rat haori.

His eyes brushed in passing over his new-born son and a wave of tenderness washed over him, but there was not time for such indulgences.

"Darling..." her silent plea only strengthened his resolution. He knew he wouldn't make it...she knew it as well. He re-assumed his attack stance as Takemaru rushed in.

* * *

"Inuyasha..." he growled. 

"What did you say?" Takemaru spat out.

"The child's name is to be Inuyasha."

"Inuyasha..." the name trembled gently on Izayoi's lips, just as her heart began shattering.

He was saying goodbye to her...and their child. A tear gathered in the corner of her eye, but she had to be strong. For her beloved, and for her baby.

"Go!" he urged her. "You must get away from here!" a command by any other name, and yet the underlying tenderness hidden in it allowed Izayoi to gather strength.

He loved her, and the baby, and he would protect them...at the cost of his own life-she knew.

With one last glance she etched him in her heart, as she would forever remember him, the man she had loved.

To say anything now would be to hurt him more, so she thwarted the words of love that were rushing to her, and instead began running out, crying out in her mind what she had

wanted him to hear: 'I love you. I'll always love you! Thank you for choosing me...thank you...'

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As both went into separate directions, their thoughts were with each other.

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'Live on Izayoi...live long...' his thoughts whispered. 'Live for Inuyasha...live long!' 

He would not allow himself to mourn never seeing his mate again...he would watch over her, and his darling sons from the world beyond, for such bonds cannot be broken, even by

death itself.

Someday, Izayoi would join him...until then he prayed for her safety, and happiness.

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The house came collapsing around him. Takemaru was already dead. The fool! He had tried to avoid killing him; still, his death was of little consequence. 

Blood congealed around his wounds making it difficult to move; his breath became ragged.

The main beam broke off suddenly, the sharp edge piercing his still beating heart…the heart he had given to the mortal woman whose name even now resounded on his lips.

'Goodbye, my Izayoi…' he murmured as her image appeared before his eyes.

Far away, tears slipped unbidden from a woman's eyes.

'Goodbye…my darling…'

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**Author's Note: **This is for Neisha, for Spirit of Innocence and for all of you out there who bother dropping me a line/review every now and then. I'm very thankful to and for you! 


	3. Prayers in the Dark

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters therein.

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**Prayers in the Dark**

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The night falls softly, and yet it is never as tender as it was before... 

My darling son, my little Inuyasha is restless tonight. His weakened state makes him nervous; I pull him close, hugging him, telling him not to be afraid.

His big, golden eyes appear even wider in the dark. I smile to myself for I am glad he takes so much after his father.

He squirms and pulls tighter on my kimono.

"Hush my little Inuyasha. You're alright. Momma is here with you."

"Haha-ue...I know you protect me, but where is chichi-ue...?" his somewhat awkward lisp is adorable.

I smile and tell him what I always do.

"Your father is far away now, but he is watching over you, and someday you will know him."

"But I want to meet him now!" he pouts-yes, he takes after his father, indeed. My lover also did not enjoy not being given concrete answers.

"All in good time Inuyasha." his ears twitch under my fingers. I do so love his ears. They're adorable, for all the pain they will bring him...

"Haha-ue...are you crying?"

My thoughts on Inuyasha's future once I am gone are always bleak, but he is not to know that.

"No little one, I am not."

"But you're eyes looked all sad."

I've yet to get accustomed to his night vision.

"No, merely tired. I was thinking."

"About?"

"A bed-time story for my darling little son."

"Yeah!" his emphatic outburst brings a smile to my eyes. He is so much like his father.

"Oh...tell me, tell me...tell me the one with the princess and the demon!"

"But I've already told it to you last night."

"But it's my favourite...please..." those beautiful eyes widen even further and I can see a glimmer of his grin in the dim lighting of the room.

"Very well..."

"Yeah!"

"Once upon a time..."

"There was a princess, right? A beautiful princess! Right?"

His excitement is catchy and I smile broadly.

"I thought you wanted me to tell the story..."

"Yes, I do...I won't int'rupt no more."

"Very well. The princess lived in a beautiful palace where she had everything her heart desired...and yet she was sad."

"Why was she sad haha-ue? It's because she didn't have anyone to play with isn't it? Like today when the kids wouldn't play with me, and I was pretty sad.

That's why she was sad right? She just needed someone to play with her so she wouldn't be alone."

I only smile at his innocent words, which may be interpreted quite differently by an older mind; choosing instead to giggle internally.

"Yes, that's right, she was alone...shall I go on with the story?"

"Yup! I want to get to the demon part."

"Well then, how about listening?" I tweak his ears, and sigh again, in my heart. I do so love his ears, I shall greatly miss them when I am gone.

"Hai!!!"

"Then one night..."

"One n-i-i-i-g-h-t" he drawls the word out.

"When it was all dark and everyone was asleep, the princess lay awake in her chamber feeling all sad."

"And that's when the demon comes. Right?! Right?!"

"Yes, that's right."

"And...and he is cool and powerful and brave and stuff. Right?! Right?!"

"I think you know this story too well. Perhaps you ought to be the one saying it."

"Nuh-uh. I want you to tell it."

His cuteness is impossible to withstand and I acquiesce.

"So, the demon walks into the room, and starts talking to the princess."

"And...and they get to be real good friends."

"Yes, that's right."

"And...and she ain't afraid of him?"

"No, she isn't because she knows that he wouldn't harm her."

"Say, haha-ue...you...you're not afraid of me...?"

My heart literally stops in my chest.

Oh Inuyasha, my darling little son, have they already managed to get that thought in your head? Oh, my poor soon.

"Haha-ue."

"Never. Never, never, never!!!! I am never, have never been and will never be afraid Inuyasha. You are my son. I love you. No matter what."

"Haha-ue...you're...holding me too tight." I hadn't realised how hard I was gripping him.

"Never! You're my precious, darling, little son, and I love you with all my heart!" my voice shakes a little and I'm glad he doesn't have his sensitive hearing tonight.

"Even if I am a half-breed? Say, haha-ue, you still haven't told me what that word means."

"You are not a half-breed. You are a perfectly wonderful little boy. A very special little boy. A boy whose parents loved each other very much, and love him very much. If you ever hear that word again, just ignore it and remember in you runs noble blood; more noble than that of most people. You are the son of a great dog-demon; you have his strength, his agility, his hearing, all skills which far surpass that of mere humans."

"So then...why won't the other kids play with me?"

To any mother who has ever been asked this question, I offer my deepest sympathy.

"Because they don't know you, and because you'd always win, and they wouldn't like that."

"But, but, when I played with Sesshomaru-nii-san that one time, he won the entire time and I still wanted to play."

"Yes dear, but you didn't like losing, did you?"

He looked down.

"I s'ppose not."

"So that is why."

"So...does that mean that if I let them win they'll play with me?"

I shake my head.

"Not necessarily. Inuyasha you already know you are a half-demon, yes?"

"Yep! And you said it makes me extra, extra sp-sp-sp..."

"Special."

"Speshal. Yep."

"It does, but some people are afraid of special things, or people and they act unkindly, that is why you might not get to play with the village kids."

He pouts.

"Well, I s'ppse 's ok so long as you play with me haha-ue. Ne, haha-ue, you'll always play with me, ne? And you'll never ever leave me, ne?"

"There may be a time, when I will not be here, my dear Inuyasha, but when that time comes, all you have to do is think of me, and I will be there."

"Really?! But, where would you go? Would you want to leave me?"

"No, no my darling, I wouldn't, but sometimes it is not up to us."

"But I'd be sad."

"I know. I will be too. But, sometime, in the future, you will meet your own princess and she will not be afraid of you, and she will love you. She will love your pretty hair."

I run my hand through his soft tresses.

"And she will love you pretty little hands."

"Even though they got claws?"

I take his little hands in mine and kiss them gently.

"Yes, even so. Because they're part of who you are."

"Really? So...will she like my ears do you think?"

She would be a fool not to.

"I think, that is what she will like most." I scratch the furry ears gently as I talk, and gain a content purring sound. Inu-no-Taishoo used to do that too.

Really, it sounded more like a cat than a dog-demon. I wonder if Sesshomaru purrs like this too.

"So, you really think I'll meet a princess like that?"

"Well, my son, she may not be a princess by title, but she will be as royalty to you."

"Why, coz I'm not good enough and I should think how lucky I am? If so I don't wanna meet such a stuck-up princess" he remarks sullenly and I chuckle.

"No, no, because she will be so important to you that you will want to be as nice as possible, because you care about her, and love her."

"Love her?"

"Yes, love her."

"But...I already love haha-ue..."

Another smile settles itself on my face.

"And you'll love her too, it's a different kind of love. You'll grow up happy, together, and maybe get married and have children some day."

"Children?!!!"

"Yes, children."

"I s'ppose it's not that bad...so long as we don't got to kiss. Blech!"

I chuckle again.

"You may have to..."

"Ewwww!!! No! I think we'd stay just buddies. What do you think haha-ue? Do you think that I could stay just buddies with the princess? Like the demon in the story?"

"But dear, the demon in the story married the princess."

"You mean they kissed. Eugh!!!"

"Oh, Inuyasha. I kiss you all the time, you're not disgusted by it."

He looks up, his eyes burning with certainty.

"Yes, but that's coz you're my momma. And you didn't kiss anyone else...did you?"

I can't help laughing at his honest dilemma.

"Only your father, dear."

"See. So that's ok."

"But the princess may not have kissed anyone else, just like in the story, and she may be waiting for you, then what?"

"Well..." he always fidgets when he is nervous. "I s'ppose I could just give her a quick kiss on the cheek...maybe. But she has to play with me first. I ain't kissin' no girl otherwise."

"Very well Inuyasha, perhaps you should wait and see."

"Don't hafta. I don't wanna kiss no girl."

I scratch his ears, and he settles further into my lap.

"Say, haha-ue...what was chichi-ue like?"

I had known this question would be coming, it always does on nights like this.

"He was wonderful. He was strong, and brave, and kind, and caring, and...quite nice-looking actually."

"Nee...haha-ue...I wish I knew what he looked like..."his little soft voice is filled with so much wistfulness.

"Well, someday you will see for yourself; but I can tell you he looked a lot like you, and like Sesshomaru...well, he had ears like Sesshomaru, and he was about the same height, and he wore his hair up, but the stripes on his face were light blue.His hair was really closer to yours, long and silvery. And his eyes were the same as yours."

Inuyasha seems to be pondering this, then his little voice pipes up once again.

"Say, what did he smell like?"

"Like forest, and greenery and warmth. Your scent is a little like that too."

"Yay! But, haha-ue, your scent is real pretty too, and I like it. You smell like...like sunshine and spring leaves. I like it."

"Thank you dear, but do you not think you ought to go to sleep?"

"Not yet, haven't heard th'nd of th'story 'bout th'demon and princessssssssssss..."the last word trails off, and I smile once again. He is so precious when he is asleep.

As for me, I shan't sleep till morn when he is back to his usual form. I brush his hair softly, mindful of the adorable twitching ears.

"Oyasumi, Inuyasha" I kiss his chubby cheek.

* * *

Oh, how I do love him. 

I stare at the window, at the far-away stars. My eyes trace my lover's form on the sky.

My mind's eyes brush over his pale skin with light blue markings, his smouldering eyes, his smile-I do so miss his smile-his sharp-tipped ears, his armor-clad form, his strong hands with incredibly delicate, tapered fingers...

My heart calls out to him, and I know he can hear me.

_Please, give me strength love, I need to live a little longer. I need to seen Inuyasha grown...just a little more. I need him to be a child, just a little more. _

_I want him to stay innocent, just a little more...please, grant me the strength._

I pray like I've been praying every night since finding out.

I know I have not much time left, and I know that I will not get to see my little boy become a man...but my heart begs for a little more time, to care for him, and love him, for a little longer.

To keep him from being alone and sad, just a little longer.

My eyes tear up. I know what fate expects him once I am gone, and I would curse the gods for my illness, if I weren't grateful to them for having let me meet Inu-no-Taishoo, and for giving me Inuyasha.

He is snoozing peacefully in my lap; his fluffy ears twitching sporadically. I press a kiss to his head.

_Please...give me a little more time..._

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	4. All I Ask

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or any of the characters.**

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**All I ask... **

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I lay there praying to the gods that Inuyasha would sense the danger and run. I knew I could not follow, and I knew if he did so I would never see him again...but he would be safe. 

A trickle of blood wet my dry lips-my time was fading.

"Haha-ue." he burst into the cottage.

He was crying.

"Haha-ue!!!!" he tried to cling on to me, but I pushed him away with all the strength I had left. I would not have my darling son tainted by death.

I knew I was dying; the singe of the sword in my stomach left no room for illusions. My skin burned and yet I shivered.

The pain of being torn in two was nothing compared to seeing understanding dawn for the first time in my baby's eyes.

He understood I would no longer live- his own pain made me want to cry. I couldn't! I had to be strong, for him.

"Inuyasha..."

"Haha-ue..." his little fists were clenched by his side. _My brave Inuyasha_. He did not want to worry me with his tears. _Sweet child._

"My dear...remember how I said one day I would have to go...even though...even though I did not want to...?"

He refused to move, continuing instead to watch me. His eyes burned through my heart. _My poor baby._

"I love you. Remember that."

"Don't leave me" Words I wished I could heed.

"I have to, my dear."

"Then...let me..please...one last time..." He inched closer. I did not want my son's touch. I did not want him to know my pain...I did not want his last memory of me to be an embrace of death.

A tear slipped out despite my best efforts. I would grant him this, and then I would leave him...forever.

He moved closer still, shy. I made no effort to stop him this time. I am unsure whether I could have. The room was beginning to fade.

His little arms wrapped around me, and he sobbed in my kimono. He was so little...so helpless...

_Gods! Do not make me leave him! Please! I cannot leave him now...he needs me! Buddha...I accept my punishment gratefully...any punishment...but please...a little longer..._

Over and over I screamed in my mind, begging for the gods to hear me. _Kannon! I implore you!_

I couldn't die now.

Not while he was holding on to me like this: his little body trembling, his tiny fists gripping my kimono, his adorable ears lowered so much they almost disappeared in his hair.

_Oh my poor Inuyasha..._

"Hush...hush my little one..." somehow I found the strength in me to talk.

He refused to move.

"My dear...you must go now..."

A resilient, muffled 'no' was the only reply.

"Inuyasha...you love your mother...yes?"

He looked up, almost curious.

"Then, please be a good boy for me, alright? Leave me, and go to wherever your eyes lead you...I need to know you'll be safe."

He stared.

"Please...Inuyasha..." More tears slipped out. My time was nearing.

"I love you Inuyasha. Remember that. Just the way you are...my sweet Inuyasha...and..." it was becoming hard to breathe.

"Haha-ue...don't leave me."

"Inuyasha please...go...remember about what I told you...the...the...princess...she'll love your hair..." my hand barely reached the soft strands "your pretty eyes, your...your hands." I kissed his chubby little fist for the last time "and...your ears...just the way you are...she'll love you...but you have to go now...don't...don't keep the princess waiting..."

"I love you haha-ue. Please stay."

"I cannot my dear...but you know what would make me really, really, happy?"

His ears perked up slightly.

"If you went away from here...as far away as you can possibly get tonight...okay? I want you to go...search out some...flowers for me...please...I want you to get me a branch of _yuki-yanagi_..."

"A snow...willow...but haha-ue...where...?"

"It is...to the west...go far into the west...if you pass the village of Kanaji you will find it..."

"But haha-ue...you...?"

"I need you to do this. Please, Inuyasha...just one branch..." I needed him to be safe...away from this place.

Darkness began to swim around me. If I could get him to accept this mission, he would be safe.

Yuki-yanagi...my favourite flowers...were very rare.

My lover would bring them to me-they grew near his main establishment, where his eldest now resided.

I prayed Sesshomaru would take my darling Inuyasha under his wing. I did not know what else to do.

Uncertainty gnawed at me. Sesshomaru was honourable, as his father. He may not have liked me...but he would not harm blood of his own blood...I prayed I was making the right decision.

"Go my dear...that is all I ask..."

He looked at me so unwilling to move, so incapable of understanding just what I was asking him to do. I could not weaken in my resolve.

"Inuyasha. Go!" It was the hardest, most direct command I had ever given him. His eyes widened, and he trembled.

"Go..." I urged with my last strength. "I love you...remember...the princess..."

The darkness then overtook me. The last thing I saw was my son's sobbing form moving away from me.

_Goodbye, my little Inuyasha._

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**Author's Note:**Thank you to all who are supporting my story. It is always a pleasure to hear from you. :) Thank you to kycio-san, Night's Spell and sugarsweet pie for the reviews of the last chapter. This chapter is for you! 

I also dedicate this chapter to my sister, Neisha. Thank you for all your support and your encouragement. You'll pull through this. I know!

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	5. Toki no Nagare

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha, or any of the characters, nor do I make any financial profit whatsoever from the publishing of this story. The ideas, however, are** **mine!**

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**Toki no Nagare: The Flow of Time**

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When death had pulled her mantle over me it was strangely painless. A disembodied feeling. Surreal. I floated between time, between one age and the next- moving yet stagnant. It was not dark, but I could not see. I lost all sense of who I was, and I had no idea where I had gotten to, to begin with. Somewhere inside me something stirred, and yet I knew not what it was. In time I learned to deal with not feeling, yet I could not rid myself of this odd twinge...a duty...someone I had to protect...Little by little frozen specks of memory began melding together creating a mirror- a mirror which showed me where I was meant to go- and all the sudden the meaninglessness I had allowed to cocoon me dispelled. I was free and I knew my duty: I would protect him. 

When I opened my eyes for the first time since escaping that place I was in the dark, but darkness was a sensation I was happy to feel. It was warm where I was. I wanted to get out, to get going with my duty, but I knew that patience was required. And, again, I felt gladdened by feeling something else-anxiety. It reminded me I was no longer in-between.

As time passed on I too moved forward toward the light. I grew happier with each day-growing into sensations long forgotten.  
At last I pushed through and raised my head. Green as far as the eye could see; above it an endless blue. I tried to smile...and I did, though not as I would have expected. It was alright...to feel a smile again was enough.

Days passed by, countless hours drifting lazily, turning into months, years; and still, I waited.

* * *

Taller and taller I grew, stretching my arms to the sky, feeling life rushing through me-an invigorating current of energy. I was happy. I made company with trees and creatures from the young bushes growing around me. In the years to come I would see the saplings grow into sturdy trees, the creatures multiplying, and new creatures coming in to settle in the surroundings-little happy families. 

With such growth came change as well, and soon I could see people settle near the edges of the forest. They were peaceful creatures at first, but then I saw them consumed by greed and anger and hot-red hatred, and it pained me. Still, I had no choice but to endure it all.

One day they came and ripped branches to make a little well...then I never would have been able to guess what purpose that well would serve. Still, I made do with what I had, contented with simply waiting dutifully.

* * *

When I saw him for the first time I died and was revived again; my spirit sang and each piece of me thrummed with happiness. He was such a handsome boy-much older than I remembered, but he had grown up so nicely. 

When he first graced me with his company I wanted to sing-I settled for swishing leaves with the western breezes.

He would come and talk to me almost everyday. Sometimes he would let me hold him, and I would rock him as in days of yore...yet I knew he did not know me. I treasured those moments, though, for it was then that I could protect him and comfort him. When he first looked at me I nearly broke beneath the sorrow in his gaze. It was then I realised the true cost of his survival. More than ever I wanted to hold him and comfort him and turn his pain into gladness, yet I couldn't, so I contented myself with protecting him when he came to me, listening to him sigh dishearteningly in his sleep, seeing hollow emptiness in his beautiful eyes. I missed the days when they had been lit with mirth and innocence.

Then...one day I saw an old spark of him. I didn't know what had caused it, but I was thankful for it. Little by little I saw him return...no...blossom into a normal young man, less plagued by nightmares, and more content with life and I rejoiced. It wasn't long before I learned the reason for the change. Like any mother would know her son's heart, so I knew his. What I had not known was that she was a priestess. I silently chuckled. It would be most interesting to see how it developed.

The first time we met I thought she was beautiful, but cold; never one to judge appearances I, nevertheless, saw there was a certain restraint when it came to him- and it angered me. He was putting his whole heart-his very being- out for her, yet she was not reciprocating in a likely manner. It was plain to see she cared for him, but I worried at whether it would suffice. I watched them slowly, day by day. Their shy smiles reflected more and more often in each other's faces. He was happy, and I could only offer my blessings to the girl for making him so, yet my heart continued to fret: did she truly care for him? Did she fully accept him? Did she make him feel protected and loved? I sincerely wanted to hope she did.

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I treasured each moment they spent together around me-it made me happy to see them grace me with their smiles...the smiles that joined their hearts...until that day when I saw her: bow raised, arrow poised, eyes narrowed. With one hatred-filled shot I saw him break, the arrow going straight through his heart and into mine. 

"Oh, my poor Inuyasha..." I would have cried then, but trees can afford no such extravagance, so I mourned him the only way I could. From that day forward nevermore would I bear flowers! Flowers were my children- a symbol of my life, but they had no longer any place with me. My only son was dead, and forever sealed onto me. I would not die for the arrow did not harm me, but I would refuse to live. Deep inside, a familiar feeling told me this was not the end...but I mourned him. Nevermore would I bear children...nevermore would I celebrate life. I willed my roots to wrap around him, cradling my dear Inuyasha as I used to when he was a child, and in the solitude of my heart, I wept.

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**Author's Notes:** I know it's been a while, but I sincerely hope you all enjoy this chapter...and to my dear, dear, friend-you know who you are- I hope this gives you a moment's peace, relief and happiness. :) Thank you to everyone who supports this story. I dearly love hearing from all of you.

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	6. And So It Comes Full Circle

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

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**And So It Comes Full Circle**

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Once more I had been thrown into dark nothingness; this time, however, I had not the comfort of a numb heart. The silence of my son's heartbeat pulled at me every single moment - nothing else could break me: I was hollow. Time and again I prayed that he may wander upon me in the darkness, then cursed my selfishness for daring to want him to be subjected to the same conditions as I. No. He was...he was...well... he was _not dead_, and for that I was grateful. 

I could see nothing, yet the auras I was familiar with slowly changed, until one day a strong presence approached me. It was benevolent, that much I could tell.

It moved closer - I felt crushed under its light and sense of warmth - and something inside me snapped.

I realized with great wonder I was able to see again. The presence had drawn me from darkness to the present moment. I saw a girl climb the roots carefully. She was dressed most oddly in a rather ill-fitting kimono which was quite provocative. She approached my son tentatively and, upon seeing her resemblance to the priestess who had put my son under seal, I had had a good mind to unwind one of the roots and slap her.

Manners, and a long-bred sense of decorum, prevented me.

She seemed curious. Drawing closer, I saw her reach out and touch his ears tenderly. At that moment I caught something in her eyes, and I knew her role in this world.

* * *

Her return to me was as abrupt as her original arrival and departure. I watched carefully as she reached out for the arrow. 

Something stirred, and if I hadn't been already dead my heart surely would have given. My son...my precious son...he had awakened. Tears of gratefulness streamed from eyes I had thought long dried. My boy, so young still. He was alive. I wanted to cry to the heavens. I blessed her for having undone the spell on him, little knowing of what my blessing would cause. The battle that then ensued made me cringe. I could understand my son's motive but, surely, he hadn't learned to be so callous from me. My heart tightened. Oh, my Inuyasha...you had no-one to teach you manners did you? I knew in that instant Sesshomaru had failed me, and I felt oddly bereft. I had trusted him. Movement distracted me once more.

I saw the other priestess...I recognised her by name...oh dear, had such an amount of time passed indeed?

She threw a necklace at my Inuyasha, and the young girl subdued him. Like a dog!

Had I been a fool to think anyone apart from I would love him the way he was?!!

Oh...my Inuyasha. I'm so sorry...so sorry! Thrown to the ground! Humiliated! Oh, my poor son! Forgive me for the cruel fate I bestowed upon you in my selfishness...I had thought...

They were already leaving. My heart was breaking again. He would visit again, would he not?

And I would comfort him as best I could when he would; in the meantime I would pray forgiveness for my selfishness and ignorance.

_Please...watch over him...my love...watch after our son! Do not let him be treated in such a manner any longer...please!_

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I had no way of knowing then that the necklace I had despised so much would one day save my son's life. I was grateful to it when I had learned of it. I saw my son grown into a wonderful man under the girl's (usually) gentle guidance. I saw him as he had never been with the other. This girl - which, I later learned, had come from the future- was opening his heart, and giving hers in return. I knew not how completely though, and I worried lest she would break him as her predecessor. 

I was more than a little surprised to see that Kikyo had been revived, and more so, that Inuyasha would welcome her back so kindly. I couldn't stifle a smile. My boy had such a big heart, and he truly had cared about the priestess; still, I could not understand his indecision when it came to the two girls. It was written in his eyes which of the two his heart belonged to and yet none appeared to be able to see it. It hurt to see him hurt, and I tried every which was I could think of to make him understand. The girl, Kagome_, she_ was the princess. She loved him for all he was. I think perhaps he knew, but his sense of duty – a trait from both my lover and I – kept him from acting on it.

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Time flowed until once more I found myself staring terrifiedly at my beloved Inuyasha being aimed at with a sacred arrow. This time, however, I saw the girl's dead eyes, heard her silent please for him to run, felt the determination behind my son's fearless stance. When the arrow hit neither one of us flinched. I knew for certain she wouldn't hurt him, he knew it too.

I reached out to him when Kagome got trapped in her world. I had to keep them together! It was snowing in her time. My flowers, finally blooming after centuries of waiting, had withered; my branches were bare, and frozen. Every part of me was in pain from the cold and the snow; regardless, I would not fail them. They needed to be together.

I think he understood because he changed from that day onwards-more aware of his own emotions, and yet, in shyness, as much a little boy as he ever was.

Kagome would protect him, and his heart. I had seen it in her eyes, in her behaviour. I knew the moment she chose to stay by his side despite having walked in upon a tryst with Kikyo. She loved him. Wholly. And I rejoiced. The tender moments when they though they were alone, each one was a treasure to my existence. They would do nothing more than hold hands while I provided them with shade and yet, I knew that simple gesture alone meant so much to both of them. Their eyes would become suffused in an impossible warmth - I wondered if that was the look I had had in my eyes when I had been with my lover. On him I had seen it countless times, and each time more beautiful.

_Anata...I wonder if you're happy where you are..._

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**Author's Note: It's been almost a year. La, I never would have believed it had I not seen the date. :p Sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**


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